I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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