Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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