did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
