Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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