Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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