dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
