shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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