Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
