Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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