Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
