This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
