all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
