Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
