thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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