your parents love me but you hate me
how can u be prego again
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
