Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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