he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
