Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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