i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is this like a preordered booty call?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Shame - the story of my life.
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