guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They took my balls.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
