maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
