my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
