just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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