And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
