I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
NoShamevember. You game?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
