I got chris browned last night
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
