I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
