his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
