So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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