I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
