i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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