Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
