Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
