you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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