well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just blew my weed a kiss
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
