when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
