we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
