last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
