She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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