so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
