just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The beer is more important than you right now.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
