It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
