I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
