Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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