Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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