i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
As shirtless as possible
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
