Non-Jews are for practice
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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