get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
