I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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