PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
